Jurnalul lui Manon.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses!

3. When people say, while watching a film, “Did you see that?”. No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

4. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”…. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?

5. When something is “new and improved!”…Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn’t be new.

6. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, Dumb-ass?

WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?”

HUSBAND: “Definitely not!”

WIFE: “Why not – don’t you like being married?”

HUSBAND: “Of course I do.”

WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?”

HUSBAND: “Okay, I’d get married again.”

WIFE: “You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: “Would you live in our house?”

HUSBAND: “Sure, it’s a great house.”

WIFE: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”

HUSBAND: “Where else would we sleep?”

WIFE: “Would you let her drive my car?”

HUSBAND: “Probably, it is almost new.”

WIFE: “Would you replace my pictures with hers?”

HUSBAND: “That would seem like the proper thing to do.”

WIFE: “Would she use my golf clubs?”

HUSBAND: “No, she’s left-handed.”

WIFE: – – -silence – –

HUSBAND: ”Shit. “

Așadar, am terminat.

E curat în casă, lună.
Hainele sunt spălate și întinse mumos la uscat.

N-am avut accidente majore, în proces. Era să-mi rup un deget, că l-am băgat în ușă, ca să-mi salvez unghia de la celălalt.

Boon.

Mi-am comandat mâncare chinezească, o să vină când voi fi în pragul leșinului, daar…

Trecui pe aici ca să pup și să-mi îmbrățișez cititorul prieten. 🙂

Îmbrăţişările, pentru oamenii ca mine care nu fac sex random, au intensităţi, culori şi gradări.

*

Mă hrănesc, de câteva zile, cu prezenţa cuiva.
Îi spun: Vino să te îmbrăţişez.

Îmbrăţişarea aceasta, cu un bărbat care îmi place, îmi lipeşte sufletul, ca un timbru, de inimă.

Nu mai e dor. Nu mai e gol acolo. E bine.

Mă îndepărtez, apoi, zâmbind.

…Ocazie cu care inima îi şopteşte sufletului: Puiule, te poţi dezlipi acum, căci nu pot respira. 😉